Perfectly imperfect - that's me with ADD!

I have a beautiful new website design for ADDiva that will be unveiled any minute now.

I have a matching email newsletter template that is almost-but-not-quite-ready to go public.

And late last night, in an enthusiastic fever to send out Clutter Gutter tips, I accidentally sent the almost-but-not-quite-ready newsletter template to all the ADDivas. Including me.

When it appeared in my Inbox I was puzzled. Then horrified. Omigod - now you all will know that I'm not ... perfect.

Hey, I'm ADDiva One. I created the ADDiva Network. I am supposed to have it "all together." Not make mindless mistakes in the middle of the night.

And it hit me once again. I am STILL trying to hide my ADD-ish-ness. This time, from the very people who should know, expect and forgive me for it.

I guess I thought that you would hold me to a higher standard (higher than the absurdly high standards I've set for myself? I doubt it), expect me to have conquered my ADD-ish traits (no medication, no meditation, no organization works all the time) or at least be a model ADDiva to inspire you instead of stumbling around bumping into the furniture.

In the aftermath of the embarrassment, emailed began to trickle in: "Oh, so it happens to you too?" "I love that you are so ADD - makes me feel better about my own ADD." "I just love you - if you can do that and be successful, then maybe I can too."

Then I realized that I don't have to hide here, of all places. That's why I set up the ADDiva Network, so that we can let down our guard, be forgiven for not taking the library book back for 6 months or accidentally hitting "Send" when we (I) meant to hit "Save."

I believe strongly in professionalism. I appreciate it from other people and strive to deliver it from this office. "Strive" is exactly the correct verb. It is an intense and intentional effort for me to "keep it all together," to make it appear effortless to support ADDivas, offer classes, retreats and products that help us succeed.

It's not effortless. I work at it all the time. I live with my ADD and stumble. As I did last night, not once, but twice: I realized 30 minutes before our Network call that the access code on the website had not been updated to match the one on the conference line. And I sent out an unfinished newsletter.

I want to be an shining example of how ADDivas can move beyond their ADD and live glorious lives. But that doesn't mean being perfect.

So, just for the record, I am imperfect. I will make mistakes. But I will make my mistakes perfectly. And I will know that here, within the ADDiva Network, I can practice being embarrassed about my perfect mistakes, I can practice receiving forgiveness and support from my sister ADDivas. Most importantly, I can practice forgiving myself. Now that's an example even I want to follow.