at GardenSpirit Guesthouse this week. It was an amazing experience! I hold my head high to tell you that I was actually a few minutes late to my own dinner party (so what else is new?). At least Kristin (our new ADDiva chef) was in the kitchen so my guests weren't abandoned.
Anyway, when I raced into the Guesthouse (sans makeup - that was the thing I decided to drop off my list so I could actually GET to the dinner), I could hear the chatter of enthusiastic women gathered around the kitchen table, getting acquainted, talking about their ADD-ish-ness, waving their hands (more about that in another post). It was AWESOME! Instant friendship, born of our common sparkle - ADD!
After everyone had said their goodbyes
and I was cleaning up a bit, I noticed a lime green Post-it stuck to the glass on the kitchen table. I picked it up, glanced at the writing and my heart melted with gratitude for whomever had scribbled the note.
On the Post-it were the first names of the women who attended the dinner with a notation by each name:
- Susan - pink
- Maggie - glasses
- Cindy - short
- Kristin - cook
- Linda - khaki
- Trish, Carrie - green
- Marty - R
One of the ADDivas at the dinner had jotted down descriptions of us so she could keep track of names! Susan did indeed wear pink, Cindy was short, I wore khaki slacks, Kristin was our cook! (note: except for Kristin and me, I have changed the names in this post to protect confidentiality).
I have done the same thing so many times when meeting a lot of new people at a time. I try to be discreet about it, casually glancing at my 'notes' when someone speaks to me so I can come up with their name on cue.
But, darn it, without a physical place to offload the trivia (yes trivia) of a formal name, I will spend my energy wracking my brain to locate a word that begins with a capital letter instead of being fully present to the conversation, the lecture, the presentation, the dinner.
Over the past few years, it is FAR more important
to really "be with" the people in my life than it is to toe the line about remembering their names. I am a visual learner; bless the folks who provide names tags! My brain also loves to seize on first impressions.
I mistakenly called Kristin "Kirstin" that night because our first communication was via email where I could SEE the spelling of her name...and Kristin and Kirstin have exactly the same letters. I'm not dyslexic that I know of, but the visual cue was more powerful than the audio cue. As a certified ADDiva, Kristin forgave me for my faux pas and served a fabulous dinner (y'all come to GardenSpirit and she'll cook gourmet Southern food for you, too).
The bottom line is that we ADDivas
(or women of that 'certain age') are allowed to take notes, let go of the embarrassment of ignoring names in favor of really connecting with other people and be gloriously present in the moment.
Thank you to whomever used my lime green PostIts and for leaving her evidence behind. And next time? I'll get to the store for name tags, I promise!
