ADD, the mail, identity theft

Whew - talk about three absolutely incongruent topics!

Let's be candid: even the terms "ADD" and "Mail" are difficult to get out in the same breath (note I did not say "male"). Sorting is not one of our strong points. And that's what dealing with mail is all about. Heck, they even have a job description at the USPS that has the word "sorter" in it! I'm sure it is not filled by someone with ADD -- unless they have a strong dose of OCD thrown in (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for those who have forgotten their alphabet soup definitions).

So when you throw in protecting your identity - locked mailboxes, dropping outgoing mail at the post office instead of your home mailbox, shredding anything with your name and address - well that's tantamount to treason. And a recipe for yet another ... failure.

Let's fix part of that right now, OK? Shredding 101.

I have a coaching client who lets the mail pile up - literally. Even when he manages to sort it out, there's a pile of junk mail that needs opening and shredding, but who wants to stop and shred a huge pile of mail that never should have made an appearance in your mailbox to begin with? It's like a conspiracy that sneaks in to steal our precious time...ah, I hear a tirade coming on. Better stick with shredding.

Here's a simple solution. First - buy a decent shredder, one that will chew up layers of paper without choking (even better if it eats plastic credit cards and CDs).

Second, stick it in a place that is either: right next to the recycling bin that receives the no-need-to-shred envelopes, papers, etc. OR in an easily accessible location in your office.

Third, leave the shredder plugged in and turned on ALL THE TIME. You will not waste much electricity and it will not wear out the shredder - most of the wear and tear on the electrical components comes from turning it on and off.

Then, when you sort the mail simply feed the shredder as you go. If the shredder is in another room, make a stack (aka pile) of shreddables, take it with you before you go on to another task, and you're D-O-N-E (my favorite four letter word) and protected. Ta-da!

Now...where's that shredder going to live? OK, where do you FIND that shredder? Or...do you have to BUY a shredder? Put it on the To-Do list! Now that's another topic for the ADDiva!

Why ask the ADDiva?

If you take a look at my bio (which, by the way, appears on ALL my blogs, not just the ADD blogs), it's a textbook description of ADD. I bounce around from one interesting thing to another, loving them all.

I'm reading a book about ADD and relationships ("ADD and Romance" by Jonathan Scott Halverstadt) which has reminded me that pushing "too many" things into my life is all about creating the stimulation my ADD brain needs. I do a lot of things. I create a lot of blogs -- this is Number Six. I definitely have the ADD diagnosis.

The Diva part? It just sounds good with ADD. My ex-husband would tell you I AM part diva, but I disagree. I've learned to be myself without the diva-ish drama. Most of the time.

So, by combining my life and ADD coaching training with my own life experience of ADD, I came up with Ask the ADDiva. It's a collection of short answers - I'll do my best to be brief - to common issues that come up for adult ADD-ers (see how I interrupt myself even in print? Weird).

If you have a particular question related to adult ADD, send it to me via this post (you can add comments/questions at the end of any post and I'll get them via email).

If you don't send questions, I'll make them up. Hey, I believe in honesty even if it hurts. Anyway, I have lots of questions myself. But can I answer my own questions? Stay tuned to find out...

Think Once

About 10 years ago, when my advertising agency was operating at full tilt, I often made decisions that had long-term implications about the efficiency of the company. How to get all the computers to sync their calendar data on the network, for instance. Or the most effective way to manage project timelines.

I would play with a variety of scenarios in my head or on paper, eventually coming up with a “best” solution. Then we’d implement the plan and it would become part of the Standard Operating Procedure for my company.

Those tortured decisions were like diving into a vat of endless possibility for me. On one hand, I loved playing with options. On the other, I needed them to work immediately and without a lot of confusion. I began to tell my employees that I wanted to “THINK ONCE really hard and then not think again.”

It’s a philosophy that I now recognize as one of my main coping mechanisms for ADD. I’ve used it to buy clothes, to change careers, to deal with my kids’ homework, to keep the house semi-organized. I think I’ve figured out why it has worked for me.

As an ADD Woman, I am constantly distracted by interesting tidbits -- and virtually everything is interesting to me except professional football and ironing. But the basics of my life, like brushing my teeth, taking a shower, or feeding the dog and cat, are done on autopilot. I don’t think about them too much. I just do them. Most of the time.

Perhaps once upon a time there was a tortured thinking session when I made the decision to brush before breakfast instead of after (as my husband does), but it’s been long forgotten. Now, I brush and go on to the next interesting thing. Brushing teeth became part of the Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) I’ve developed for my life.

My Standard Operating Procedure allows me to “not think” about some daily essentials so that my ADD mind can race around looking for the stimulating things that arise miraculously in each moment. All the time I’m brushing my teeth, for instance, my mind is whirling over to the retreat house wondering if I can get the garage painted in time for the next retreat and then to the grocery store to buy some more toothpaste….and on and on. I finish brushing and I’m off to the next thing. If it’s SOP, I get to keep dreaming about the interesting stuff; if it’s not, I get to DO the interesting stuff.

One variation of “Think Once” is “Shop Hard.” When I buy clothes, I am plunged into an ADD nightmare: dozens of racks of clothing in a massive space that is new and colorful and overwhelming.

Then comes the sorting out process. Do I like the style? Do I like the color/does the color look good on me/do I need anything else in this color? Is the fabric is too scratchy? Is the neckline too tight? Are the pant legs long enough? My criterion for clothing is that it doesn’t distract me while I am wearing it. That eliminates anything “fussy” like scarves or jewelry or French cuffs.

Whew! To end up in my closet, a piece of clothing has to clear a lot of hurdles. But after I ‘Think Once, really, really hard” then I can take the clothes home, and grab something from my closet without thinking, knowing that it will be OK for me to wear in public. I have already done the thinking: now I can let it go and let my brain focus on the OTHER ten million things it juggles.

Jack Canfield talks about having a finite number of “attention units” which we use each day. My “Think Once” strategy sucks up all my attention units when I’m in the “thinking phase,” but ultimately it frees me to give attention to things that are a lot more interesting than brushing teeth and shopping for clothes.

I honestly don't know how linear folks stay on track. But I've learned to "Think Once" and never look back.