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Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wellbutrin XL generics - bad news?
I've always worried that generic drugs aren't quite as good as the brand name version and now there's mounting evidence to prove it.
Wellbutrin XL 300 (Budeprion XL) works just fine for depression and many ADHD symptoms. But when some patients are switched to the generic formulation, they reported frightening symptoms: fast onset of severe depression and serious suicidal thoughts.
In a recent article published by the People's Pharmacy a woman reported no problems with the original Wellbutrin XL 300 but said that she had "the worst case of depression" she could remember when her pharmacy substituted the generic equivalent. It should be noted that the difference has not been reported in the 150 XL formulation at this point.
Apparently the generic version releases the medication at a different rate than the original, thus creating quite different response rates and effectiveness.
This news scares me - because a lot of ADDivas take Wellbutrin, including me - and there is the potential for serious repercussions. Suicide is not to be taken lightly, especially when antidepressants are supposed to ward off those thoughts and actions.
Equally important, however, is that many ADD women and men have already experienced differences in generic medications vs. brand name drugs that treat ADHD. I cannot take generic Adderall, for instance. Other people cannot take the brand name version. Ditto for any of the other drugs on the market today.
There are two ways to look at this issue, in my opinion.
1) We need to make SURE that we are receiving the exact drugs prescribed for us with NO substitutions by the pharmacy or insurance company (this may take some lobbying by you or your doctor).
2) If generics really do release their active ingredients at different rates than the original drug, it gives us even MORE options to play with to treat our ADHD symptoms.
After all, drug companies are making a fortune by adjusting the release time of ordinary drugs like old fashioned Ritalin, slapping their brand on the bottle and charging 10 times the price of generics. I know folks who can't take the brand name drug but have good results with the generic. It works both ways. But the bottom line is the same: we all react differently to medication release schedules, to the type of drug prescribed, to the interval we take the drug, etc.
OK, now the disclaimer: this is NOT something to play with on your own. Obviously there can be serious consequences. Drugs are not a smorgasbord from which we can pick and choose. Work with your doctor to find the best combination for you.
But if you are switched to a generic and suddenly notice your symptoms change, call the pharmacy AND the doctor immediately. You deserve to take the meds that work best for you,
brand name OR generic.
Read the full report at Consumer Lab.
Wellbutrin XL 300 (Budeprion XL) works just fine for depression and many ADHD symptoms. But when some patients are switched to the generic formulation, they reported frightening symptoms: fast onset of severe depression and serious suicidal thoughts.
In a recent article published by the People's Pharmacy a woman reported no problems with the original Wellbutrin XL 300 but said that she had "the worst case of depression" she could remember when her pharmacy substituted the generic equivalent. It should be noted that the difference has not been reported in the 150 XL formulation at this point.
Apparently the generic version releases the medication at a different rate than the original, thus creating quite different response rates and effectiveness.
This news scares me - because a lot of ADDivas take Wellbutrin, including me - and there is the potential for serious repercussions. Suicide is not to be taken lightly, especially when antidepressants are supposed to ward off those thoughts and actions.
Equally important, however, is that many ADD women and men have already experienced differences in generic medications vs. brand name drugs that treat ADHD. I cannot take generic Adderall, for instance. Other people cannot take the brand name version. Ditto for any of the other drugs on the market today.
There are two ways to look at this issue, in my opinion.
1) We need to make SURE that we are receiving the exact drugs prescribed for us with NO substitutions by the pharmacy or insurance company (this may take some lobbying by you or your doctor).
2) If generics really do release their active ingredients at different rates than the original drug, it gives us even MORE options to play with to treat our ADHD symptoms.
After all, drug companies are making a fortune by adjusting the release time of ordinary drugs like old fashioned Ritalin, slapping their brand on the bottle and charging 10 times the price of generics. I know folks who can't take the brand name drug but have good results with the generic. It works both ways. But the bottom line is the same: we all react differently to medication release schedules, to the type of drug prescribed, to the interval we take the drug, etc.
OK, now the disclaimer: this is NOT something to play with on your own. Obviously there can be serious consequences. Drugs are not a smorgasbord from which we can pick and choose. Work with your doctor to find the best combination for you.
But if you are switched to a generic and suddenly notice your symptoms change, call the pharmacy AND the doctor immediately. You deserve to take the meds that work best for you,
brand name OR generic.
Read the full report at Consumer Lab.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Travelin' ADD-style Part 2
More travel tips from ADDiva One:
7) Use travel-tight screw lid bottles to pack only a week's worth of shampoo, conditioner and other products. I refill them when I get back home so they are travel-ready again.
8) Anything that can spill inside my suitcase goes in plastic. My cosmetic bag is plastic-lined and I have several smaller plastic-lined bags for hair products, medication, hair dryer and brushes.
9) Buy a duplicate set of cosmetics and hair products just for travel. It's less expensive to buy your favorites at home then to try to replace them in a strange city (where you have to first FIND the right store and then GET there and back).
10) Carry 2-3 days worth of meds in your carry-on just in case your luggage gets lost in transit. In my experience, medications do not need to be in their original bottles or labeled (for the security folks) as long as you pack a reasonable quantity for your trip.
11) Pack some lightweight snacks in your carryone: pretzels, energy bars, nuts, dried fruit. And buy a bottle of water after you get through security. You never know when you might end up sitting on the tarmac for hours because of weather or other delays. And yes, those airport gift shops are a complete rip-off...and we can't do anything about it.
12) Take a lightweight bag for dirty undies and socks. Mine is a Tyvek bag designed as a super light bag to bring home souvenirs. Find them at travel stores or online shops.
13) Pack only two pairs of shoes - shoes add a tremendous amount of weight to your suitcase which must weight under 50 pounds or you'll pay big bucks in penalties.
14) Wear slip-on shoes that are comfortable - you will have to remove them in the security line so make it easy to get them on and off. I prefer to wear socks so I am not barefoot on those dirty airport floors, but hey that's just me.
15) Don't drag along heavy books. If you want something to read, try magazines that can be discarded along the way (tear out all the pages with ads only before you leave to lighten your load). And don't BUY books to bring home. Ship 'em if you must buy them.
16) Think black coordinates for clothing. Everything goes with black, even in the summer. You really don't have to be a fashionista when you travel. If a special occasion calls for something fabulous, pack a crushable black dress or dressy pants, then decide whether you're willing to sacrifice one of your "shoe slots" for shoes you may wear only once.
17) Take one super comfy outfit to hang around the hotel room. I pack a pair of cotton sweat pants and a casual T-shirt that won't be worn "in public" but lets me feel completely relaxed.
17) If you're taking your laptop, pack in an easily accessible place so you don't hold up the security line fishing for it. It must go in a "tub" by itself on the conveyor belt.
18) Buy an Eagle Creek padded bag to contain your computer charger, travel mouse, earbuds, flash drive, blank CD, USB cord, camera charger and battery, three-pronged plug expander and USB hub if you need it.
19) Eagle Creek also makes mesh bags in various sizes which are wonderful for packing underwear, socks, hose, swimsuit, etc.
20) Don't forget the charger for your digital camera. Otherwise, when the battery dies, you are stuck using disposable cameras. Ditto for the camera download wire to your computer ... to avoid using all your memory card the first day.
21) A featherweight umbrella used only for travel will seem like an extravagance...until it rains on the entire tour of the prehistoric ruins you were eager to see.
Foreign travel
22) Check the electricity voltage before you leave. No sense taking your 110v curling iron if the 220V will burn it up the first day. There are good dual-current appliances on the market at reasonable cost.
23) Check the connector type, too. New Zealand and Hong Kong both use 220v current but the plugs are vastly different. Get a converter kit before you leave home; don't expect to find them in the country you are visiting!
For long trips that require crossing several time zones (my internal clock goes beserk) allow several days to readjust. Don't plan BIG events the day after you arrive. Be gentle with yourself.
24) If you need a break from local food, try stocking your hotel room from the nearest convenience store. Sometimes a few cookies and beef jerky tastes good after spicy hot kim chi or heavy cream soups.
More later....
7) Use travel-tight screw lid bottles to pack only a week's worth of shampoo, conditioner and other products. I refill them when I get back home so they are travel-ready again.
8) Anything that can spill inside my suitcase goes in plastic. My cosmetic bag is plastic-lined and I have several smaller plastic-lined bags for hair products, medication, hair dryer and brushes.
9) Buy a duplicate set of cosmetics and hair products just for travel. It's less expensive to buy your favorites at home then to try to replace them in a strange city (where you have to first FIND the right store and then GET there and back).
10) Carry 2-3 days worth of meds in your carry-on just in case your luggage gets lost in transit. In my experience, medications do not need to be in their original bottles or labeled (for the security folks) as long as you pack a reasonable quantity for your trip.
11) Pack some lightweight snacks in your carryone: pretzels, energy bars, nuts, dried fruit. And buy a bottle of water after you get through security. You never know when you might end up sitting on the tarmac for hours because of weather or other delays. And yes, those airport gift shops are a complete rip-off...and we can't do anything about it.
12) Take a lightweight bag for dirty undies and socks. Mine is a Tyvek bag designed as a super light bag to bring home souvenirs. Find them at travel stores or online shops.
13) Pack only two pairs of shoes - shoes add a tremendous amount of weight to your suitcase which must weight under 50 pounds or you'll pay big bucks in penalties.
14) Wear slip-on shoes that are comfortable - you will have to remove them in the security line so make it easy to get them on and off. I prefer to wear socks so I am not barefoot on those dirty airport floors, but hey that's just me.
15) Don't drag along heavy books. If you want something to read, try magazines that can be discarded along the way (tear out all the pages with ads only before you leave to lighten your load). And don't BUY books to bring home. Ship 'em if you must buy them.
16) Think black coordinates for clothing. Everything goes with black, even in the summer. You really don't have to be a fashionista when you travel. If a special occasion calls for something fabulous, pack a crushable black dress or dressy pants, then decide whether you're willing to sacrifice one of your "shoe slots" for shoes you may wear only once.
17) Take one super comfy outfit to hang around the hotel room. I pack a pair of cotton sweat pants and a casual T-shirt that won't be worn "in public" but lets me feel completely relaxed.
17) If you're taking your laptop, pack in an easily accessible place so you don't hold up the security line fishing for it. It must go in a "tub" by itself on the conveyor belt.
18) Buy an Eagle Creek padded bag to contain your computer charger, travel mouse, earbuds, flash drive, blank CD, USB cord, camera charger and battery, three-pronged plug expander and USB hub if you need it.
19) Eagle Creek also makes mesh bags in various sizes which are wonderful for packing underwear, socks, hose, swimsuit, etc.
20) Don't forget the charger for your digital camera. Otherwise, when the battery dies, you are stuck using disposable cameras. Ditto for the camera download wire to your computer ... to avoid using all your memory card the first day.
21) A featherweight umbrella used only for travel will seem like an extravagance...until it rains on the entire tour of the prehistoric ruins you were eager to see.
Foreign travel
22) Check the electricity voltage before you leave. No sense taking your 110v curling iron if the 220V will burn it up the first day. There are good dual-current appliances on the market at reasonable cost.
23) Check the connector type, too. New Zealand and Hong Kong both use 220v current but the plugs are vastly different. Get a converter kit before you leave home; don't expect to find them in the country you are visiting!
For long trips that require crossing several time zones (my internal clock goes beserk) allow several days to readjust. Don't plan BIG events the day after you arrive. Be gentle with yourself.
24) If you need a break from local food, try stocking your hotel room from the nearest convenience store. Sometimes a few cookies and beef jerky tastes good after spicy hot kim chi or heavy cream soups.
More later....
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Perfectly imperfect - that's me with ADD!
I have a beautiful new website design for ADDiva that will be unveiled any minute now.
I have a matching email newsletter template that is almost-but-not-quite-ready to go public.
And late last night, in an enthusiastic fever to send out Clutter Gutter tips, I accidentally sent the almost-but-not-quite-ready newsletter template to all the ADDivas. Including me.
When it appeared in my Inbox I was puzzled. Then horrified. Omigod - now you all will know that I'm not ... perfect.
Hey, I'm ADDiva One. I created the ADDiva Network. I am supposed to have it "all together." Not make mindless mistakes in the middle of the night.
And it hit me once again. I am STILL trying to hide my ADD-ish-ness. This time, from the very people who should know, expect and forgive me for it.
I guess I thought that you would hold me to a higher standard (higher than the absurdly high standards I've set for myself? I doubt it), expect me to have conquered my ADD-ish traits (no medication, no meditation, no organization works all the time) or at least be a model ADDiva to inspire you instead of stumbling around bumping into the furniture.
In the aftermath of the embarrassment, emailed began to trickle in: "Oh, so it happens to you too?" "I love that you are so ADD - makes me feel better about my own ADD." "I just love you - if you can do that and be successful, then maybe I can too."
Then I realized that I don't have to hide here, of all places. That's why I set up the ADDiva Network, so that we can let down our guard, be forgiven for not taking the library book back for 6 months or accidentally hitting "Send" when we (I) meant to hit "Save."
I believe strongly in professionalism. I appreciate it from other people and strive to deliver it from this office. "Strive" is exactly the correct verb. It is an intense and intentional effort for me to "keep it all together," to make it appear effortless to support ADDivas, offer classes, retreats and products that help us succeed.
It's not effortless. I work at it all the time. I live with my ADD and stumble. As I did last night, not once, but twice: I realized 30 minutes before our Network call that the access code on the website had not been updated to match the one on the conference line. And I sent out an unfinished newsletter.
I want to be an shining example of how ADDivas can move beyond their ADD and live glorious lives. But that doesn't mean being perfect.
So, just for the record, I am imperfect. I will make mistakes. But I will make my mistakes perfectly. And I will know that here, within the ADDiva Network, I can practice being embarrassed about my perfect mistakes, I can practice receiving forgiveness and support from my sister ADDivas. Most importantly, I can practice forgiving myself. Now that's an example even I want to follow.
I have a matching email newsletter template that is almost-but-not-quite-ready to go public.
And late last night, in an enthusiastic fever to send out Clutter Gutter tips, I accidentally sent the almost-but-not-quite-ready newsletter template to all the ADDivas. Including me.
When it appeared in my Inbox I was puzzled. Then horrified. Omigod - now you all will know that I'm not ... perfect.
Hey, I'm ADDiva One. I created the ADDiva Network. I am supposed to have it "all together." Not make mindless mistakes in the middle of the night.
And it hit me once again. I am STILL trying to hide my ADD-ish-ness. This time, from the very people who should know, expect and forgive me for it.
I guess I thought that you would hold me to a higher standard (higher than the absurdly high standards I've set for myself? I doubt it), expect me to have conquered my ADD-ish traits (no medication, no meditation, no organization works all the time) or at least be a model ADDiva to inspire you instead of stumbling around bumping into the furniture.
In the aftermath of the embarrassment, emailed began to trickle in: "Oh, so it happens to you too?" "I love that you are so ADD - makes me feel better about my own ADD." "I just love you - if you can do that and be successful, then maybe I can too."
Then I realized that I don't have to hide here, of all places. That's why I set up the ADDiva Network, so that we can let down our guard, be forgiven for not taking the library book back for 6 months or accidentally hitting "Send" when we (I) meant to hit "Save."
I believe strongly in professionalism. I appreciate it from other people and strive to deliver it from this office. "Strive" is exactly the correct verb. It is an intense and intentional effort for me to "keep it all together," to make it appear effortless to support ADDivas, offer classes, retreats and products that help us succeed.
It's not effortless. I work at it all the time. I live with my ADD and stumble. As I did last night, not once, but twice: I realized 30 minutes before our Network call that the access code on the website had not been updated to match the one on the conference line. And I sent out an unfinished newsletter.
I want to be an shining example of how ADDivas can move beyond their ADD and live glorious lives. But that doesn't mean being perfect.
So, just for the record, I am imperfect. I will make mistakes. But I will make my mistakes perfectly. And I will know that here, within the ADDiva Network, I can practice being embarrassed about my perfect mistakes, I can practice receiving forgiveness and support from my sister ADDivas. Most importantly, I can practice forgiving myself. Now that's an example even I want to follow.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Declutter challenge September 2007
Everywhere I go - my office, my house, my car, my computer desktop - there is evidence of a brain moving so fast that the physical world can't keep up. A jacket tossed hurriedly over a chair; mail ready to be sorted on the kitchen island; file folders in disarray on the desk, floor, conference table.
The quintessential example is a photocopy of an article I share with my clients called "50 Things to Love About ADD." There are a few copies on the floor - remnants of a neatly stacked pile that scattered when the dogs walked all over them for a few weeks; there's one on my desk peeking out from under a file folder labeled "VOCATIV" which is a learning styles assessment developed by a fellow ADD coach and the rest are living comfortably in their original nicely-labeled folder which is ... where IS that folder?
Every time I walk past those blue and white copies, they silently plead with me: I'm still here! Put me away, OK? I want to live with my fellow, matching papers in a neat little file in a neat little drawer. Please, please, please put me away!
Every time I ignore the plea (inevitable, because I have something more important to do right now), a tiny bit of unwanted guilt drills into my brain.
In recent years. I have learned to approach life with an incredibly positive attitude. Negative energy has no permanent foothold, but it's a fairly new state of mind for me. So when I am in the midst of my self-inflicted chaos, I have to continually fight my way back to a mental state of Upbeat and Enthusiastic.
This week, I wonder if I am in denial about the effects of my ADD or whether I am subconsciously using my ADD as an excuse (oh, it's hard to write those words) for the mess I have created and can't seem to correct.
Am I real Linda who is racing from one major project to another and literally too busy to declutter or am I ADDiva Linda who causes the clutter? Either way, the effect is identical: I can't find anything efficiently. I try very hard to look past the surface disorganization (the fluff) to the core of my work (the meat).
So WHY DON'T YOU JUST CLEAN IT UP? screams the linear wanna-be part of Linda. The answer is: darned if I know.
I talk to women all the time who are hopelessly mired in their household chores, their office load, their gardens. We work through a solution that involves accountability, small steps, gradual improvement.
Yet what happens when I don't have time for small steps? I want it done NOW. And there are 57 projects that are all ALL pleading for my attention and my time.
So what will I do about all this? I don't want to use ADD as an excuse. And yet, it is a big part of why the world has caved in on me once again; ADD is the reason I have so much trouble making forward progress. It's kinda like being tied to a post and then asked to get out there and climb that mountain, plow that field, move on down the highway (OK, enough cliques already!).
First things first. That means the ADD gets put back into my awareness, not as an excuse but as another 'thing' to embrace, understand and include as I set goals for myself.
The truth is that is takes me longer to do things than I realize. I am a speed demon in my brain, but when I start implementing some of the fabulous ideas that come up, I have some false starts sometimes. I blast out the door and then need to fall back a bit to recoup from my frenzied activity.
Slow and steady will never be me. I will work in short bursts. I will not allow myself to get discouraged by the enormity of sorting through the piles and the clothes and...all of it,
So, I'll start with the desk. I'll spend one hour (timer set, I promise) clearing the papers, the notebooks, the software and the Post-Its. I'll even take pictures - again.
Why don't you do it too? Send me a picture of your "before" messy desktop, then set the timer for an hour and do NOTHING ELSE except clear your desk. Then send an "after" picture. I'll post them here in the ADDiva blog. Along with mine.
Ooooh... this is scary. But I'm willing, if you are! Ready (to face the desk); Set (the timer); GO (to the bottom of that pile)!
The quintessential example is a photocopy of an article I share with my clients called "50 Things to Love About ADD." There are a few copies on the floor - remnants of a neatly stacked pile that scattered when the dogs walked all over them for a few weeks; there's one on my desk peeking out from under a file folder labeled "VOCATIV" which is a learning styles assessment developed by a fellow ADD coach and the rest are living comfortably in their original nicely-labeled folder which is ... where IS that folder?
Every time I walk past those blue and white copies, they silently plead with me: I'm still here! Put me away, OK? I want to live with my fellow, matching papers in a neat little file in a neat little drawer. Please, please, please put me away!
Every time I ignore the plea (inevitable, because I have something more important to do right now), a tiny bit of unwanted guilt drills into my brain.
In recent years. I have learned to approach life with an incredibly positive attitude. Negative energy has no permanent foothold, but it's a fairly new state of mind for me. So when I am in the midst of my self-inflicted chaos, I have to continually fight my way back to a mental state of Upbeat and Enthusiastic.
This week, I wonder if I am in denial about the effects of my ADD or whether I am subconsciously using my ADD as an excuse (oh, it's hard to write those words) for the mess I have created and can't seem to correct.
Am I real Linda who is racing from one major project to another and literally too busy to declutter or am I ADDiva Linda who causes the clutter? Either way, the effect is identical: I can't find anything efficiently. I try very hard to look past the surface disorganization (the fluff) to the core of my work (the meat).
So WHY DON'T YOU JUST CLEAN IT UP? screams the linear wanna-be part of Linda. The answer is: darned if I know.
I talk to women all the time who are hopelessly mired in their household chores, their office load, their gardens. We work through a solution that involves accountability, small steps, gradual improvement.
Yet what happens when I don't have time for small steps? I want it done NOW. And there are 57 projects that are all ALL pleading for my attention and my time.
So what will I do about all this? I don't want to use ADD as an excuse. And yet, it is a big part of why the world has caved in on me once again; ADD is the reason I have so much trouble making forward progress. It's kinda like being tied to a post and then asked to get out there and climb that mountain, plow that field, move on down the highway (OK, enough cliques already!).
First things first. That means the ADD gets put back into my awareness, not as an excuse but as another 'thing' to embrace, understand and include as I set goals for myself.
The truth is that is takes me longer to do things than I realize. I am a speed demon in my brain, but when I start implementing some of the fabulous ideas that come up, I have some false starts sometimes. I blast out the door and then need to fall back a bit to recoup from my frenzied activity.
Slow and steady will never be me. I will work in short bursts. I will not allow myself to get discouraged by the enormity of sorting through the piles and the clothes and...all of it,
So, I'll start with the desk. I'll spend one hour (timer set, I promise) clearing the papers, the notebooks, the software and the Post-Its. I'll even take pictures - again.
Why don't you do it too? Send me a picture of your "before" messy desktop, then set the timer for an hour and do NOTHING ELSE except clear your desk. Then send an "after" picture. I'll post them here in the ADDiva blog. Along with mine.
Ooooh... this is scary. But I'm willing, if you are! Ready (to face the desk); Set (the timer); GO (to the bottom of that pile)!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Jogging our memories
Many of you know that I hosted an ADDiva Dinner
at GardenSpirit Guesthouse this week. It was an amazing experience! I hold my head high to tell you that I was actually a few minutes late to my own dinner party (so what else is new?). At least Kristin (our new ADDiva chef) was in the kitchen so my guests weren't abandoned.
Anyway, when I raced into the Guesthouse (sans makeup - that was the thing I decided to drop off my list so I could actually GET to the dinner), I could hear the chatter of enthusiastic women gathered around the kitchen table, getting acquainted, talking about their ADD-ish-ness, waving their hands (more about that in another post). It was AWESOME! Instant friendship, born of our common sparkle - ADD!
After everyone had said their goodbyes
and I was cleaning up a bit, I noticed a lime green Post-it stuck to the glass on the kitchen table. I picked it up, glanced at the writing and my heart melted with gratitude for whomever had scribbled the note.
On the Post-it were the first names of the women who attended the dinner with a notation by each name:
One of the ADDivas at the dinner had jotted down descriptions of us so she could keep track of names! Susan did indeed wear pink, Cindy was short, I wore khaki slacks, Kristin was our cook! (note: except for Kristin and me, I have changed the names in this post to protect confidentiality).
I have done the same thing so many times when meeting a lot of new people at a time. I try to be discreet about it, casually glancing at my 'notes' when someone speaks to me so I can come up with their name on cue.
But, darn it, without a physical place to offload the trivia (yes trivia) of a formal name, I will spend my energy wracking my brain to locate a word that begins with a capital letter instead of being fully present to the conversation, the lecture, the presentation, the dinner.
Over the past few years, it is FAR more important
to really "be with" the people in my life than it is to toe the line about remembering their names. I am a visual learner; bless the folks who provide names tags! My brain also loves to seize on first impressions.
I mistakenly called Kristin "Kirstin" that night because our first communication was via email where I could SEE the spelling of her name...and Kristin and Kirstin have exactly the same letters. I'm not dyslexic that I know of, but the visual cue was more powerful than the audio cue. As a certified ADDiva, Kristin forgave me for my faux pas and served a fabulous dinner (y'all come to GardenSpirit and she'll cook gourmet Southern food for you, too).
The bottom line is that we ADDivas
(or women of that 'certain age') are allowed to take notes, let go of the embarrassment of ignoring names in favor of really connecting with other people and be gloriously present in the moment.
Thank you to whomever used my lime green PostIts and for leaving her evidence behind. And next time? I'll get to the store for name tags, I promise!
at GardenSpirit Guesthouse this week. It was an amazing experience! I hold my head high to tell you that I was actually a few minutes late to my own dinner party (so what else is new?). At least Kristin (our new ADDiva chef) was in the kitchen so my guests weren't abandoned.
Anyway, when I raced into the Guesthouse (sans makeup - that was the thing I decided to drop off my list so I could actually GET to the dinner), I could hear the chatter of enthusiastic women gathered around the kitchen table, getting acquainted, talking about their ADD-ish-ness, waving their hands (more about that in another post). It was AWESOME! Instant friendship, born of our common sparkle - ADD!
After everyone had said their goodbyes
and I was cleaning up a bit, I noticed a lime green Post-it stuck to the glass on the kitchen table. I picked it up, glanced at the writing and my heart melted with gratitude for whomever had scribbled the note.
On the Post-it were the first names of the women who attended the dinner with a notation by each name:
- Susan - pink
- Maggie - glasses
- Cindy - short
- Kristin - cook
- Linda - khaki
- Trish, Carrie - green
- Marty - R
One of the ADDivas at the dinner had jotted down descriptions of us so she could keep track of names! Susan did indeed wear pink, Cindy was short, I wore khaki slacks, Kristin was our cook! (note: except for Kristin and me, I have changed the names in this post to protect confidentiality).
I have done the same thing so many times when meeting a lot of new people at a time. I try to be discreet about it, casually glancing at my 'notes' when someone speaks to me so I can come up with their name on cue.
But, darn it, without a physical place to offload the trivia (yes trivia) of a formal name, I will spend my energy wracking my brain to locate a word that begins with a capital letter instead of being fully present to the conversation, the lecture, the presentation, the dinner.
Over the past few years, it is FAR more important
to really "be with" the people in my life than it is to toe the line about remembering their names. I am a visual learner; bless the folks who provide names tags! My brain also loves to seize on first impressions.
I mistakenly called Kristin "Kirstin" that night because our first communication was via email where I could SEE the spelling of her name...and Kristin and Kirstin have exactly the same letters. I'm not dyslexic that I know of, but the visual cue was more powerful than the audio cue. As a certified ADDiva, Kristin forgave me for my faux pas and served a fabulous dinner (y'all come to GardenSpirit and she'll cook gourmet Southern food for you, too).
The bottom line is that we ADDivas
(or women of that 'certain age') are allowed to take notes, let go of the embarrassment of ignoring names in favor of really connecting with other people and be gloriously present in the moment.
Thank you to whomever used my lime green PostIts and for leaving her evidence behind. And next time? I'll get to the store for name tags, I promise!
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